Hi, I’m Java Slinger. I drink decaf. February 21, 2010

I don’t think the word java is used much in the midwestern lexicon, or at the very least, I sure don’t hear it often. But the name Coffee Slinger was usurped by the blogosphere, and besides, it’s what I do, my current skill that’s letting me rake in a sound $7.25 a hour, eighteen hours a week. I should introduce my situation first. I got my coffee shop job in April of 2009. I graduated from one of those very large universities with a B.A. in Psychology in December 2009. Now it’s February 2010, and for the past two months have been enrolled in the realizations of “Wait, now what?” and “What do I want?”, as well as almost mastering other notions such as “Waking up every day at my parents’ house gives me anxiety” and “Hey wait, I shouldn’t be feeling like this” (a note on the last feeling. Turns out I very well could be having my quarter-life crisis five years early. I’ve got all the signs. It’s comforting there’s a term for it, but I’m still disappointed.)

My wishy-washy feelings on my future need to hold on, because I really do want to write that up until a month ago, I liked my barista job. I wanted that job! I didn’t mind that it paid poorly, that it had exhausting hours, that the constant multi-tasking made me a different (think keyed up monkey high on caffeinated coffee fumes and the stares of impatient customers) person, that I started drinking coffee because of the job even though I like myself way better when I’m non-caffeinated. I wanted to experience all those things. I wanted to experience the good and bad aspects, so that I could safely say to myself “I know I can do this job blindfolded and earplugged, and I’ve done it really, really well. I’ve got it down. Now, this is one job I don’t want. Next!”

Well, I’ve hit that “next!” part. I no longer wish to be a jittery monkey. What I do want? Ah, not too sure. But by the way, do you know coffee shops are insane money makers? I calculated that my boss reaps a 880% profit on a twelve ounce cup of coffee. What other store can do that with such success? There’s no other business that can plop down almost anywhere that is so simple and can give you major bank like that. Well, give the boss that! My portion is measly, without health benefits, and no raises in sight. By the way, I have fun little stories about weird customers and advice on how to properly hit on the cute barista in your neighborhood, but those will wait for next time!
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